Side effects

Has anyone ever had horrible mood swings and breast tenderness afte the Follistim and HCG trigger? I really don't know which one its coming from, but I actually cried at work last nite. My feelings got hurt and I boohooed, which I normally do not do. I also have zero patience. My boobs also are so tender, they almost can't be touched. Its terrible, all these side effects and one would they u are pregnant. But its way too early for that.

IUI Over

My 6th IUI has been completed today. Sperm count after washing 13mil. For some reason he's been lower lately, not quite sure why. When we started he was in the 25-30million range. Ah well, they say that as long as its >10mil we are doing just fine. I made sure I laid down even longer today, making sure all those little swimmers can get to where they need to go (my left has the biggest and best follicle)! Now the waiting game has begun.

I've already decided, I will do one more month after this one, then I have to take a break. I'm mentally and physically exhausted.

Why me?

To start out with, I'm a 34 year old unexplained infertile. My husband and I have been trying now for over 2 years without success. We started fertility treatments last June. We started slowly, doing the typical testing his sperm, then the testing started on me. First the "clomid challenge test" to test my egg reserve. When we started this, my RE suggested we could also "throw in" an IUI along with this, like it was for fun or something! Well of course it got me excited thinking hey, we can do it, we're gonna make a baby!

The IUI came and went, and it really wasn't that bad. My best friend had had several done and she always said they were terribly painful. I hardly cramped at all. The hardest part of it all was trying to "obtain the sample". HA! My husband freaked under the pressure I suppose. So here I am, good surge the nite before and waiting for my procedure today, and all he had to do was get his "stuff" in a cup. It sounds so simple right? Wronggggggggggg! We actually tried in the office for an hour to get the sample. Then we gave up and went home thinking that privacy was all we needed. We had to move our appointment to the late afternoon. By that time, my RE was no longer in the office, so the nurse had to do it. Actually I prefer the nurses anyway, since I'm an RN myself.

Anyways, after trying everything possible, finally we got the stuff in the cup! Whooohooo! Was like hitting the lottery or something! Of course before then I was just in tears, thinking this is my only day and my husband is ruining it for me.

So onto the clinic we go, the stuff in hand to take to the lab. The nurse puts it in and that's that! I felt ok that nite, a little sore and tired, but was all well. I really didn't think it was going to work, but it did.

At 11 days post IUI, I had a small bit of spotting. I thought to myself, well crap! Here we go again, another month down the drain. Then the spotting stopped, but I was continuing to cramp like AF was getting ready to start. The days ticked by, no more bleeding, still cramping. I was officially 3 days late when I took my first HPT. And saw a very very faint second line. I didn't believe it, researched the internet because I thought for sure it meant nothing. But everything I read states that any line is a good thing. So I tested again the next day and yup, another faint faint line. So I thought again, hmmmmm, maybe it could be?

I called the clinic the next day, and off to the lab I go for my first of many betas. I think my first was 32. Very low, which worried the nurse already. I was over 2 weeks post IUI by that time. 2 days later had a second beta and it was only in the upper 40's. Wasn't doubling like it was supposed to. This continues on for the next week. My hcg levels never double as it should be.

The next weekend, I remember well because it was July 7, 2007, the day that was supposed to be lucky due to the 777's, was the day I had some dark staining when I woke up. Nothing red, just the brown stuff. Cramping still there. I just knew it was bad even though everyone says brown spotting is not something to be worried over. But I had a hunch. My husband blamed himself a bit because I mowed the lawn the day before and he didn't put a stop to it. As if mowing the lawn was causing me to lose the baby.

The next day I go in for my first ultrasound. No baby, no heartbeat, no sac seen. My RE thinks its an ectopic, but to only know for sure they have to do something called a "fetal aspiration". My nurse tells me it hurts a bit, so make sure I take ibuprofen before coming in the next morning. Hurt my ass! It felt like a hot blow torch going on in my uterus! My doctor's office thinks that all us women are Hercules, they didn't give me any pain medication when I had my HSG either, only the wonderful ibuprofen. Anyway, back to the aspiration. No fetal tissue. So ectopic is confirmed. The next day I have to take 2 methotrexate shots in my hind end. The methotrexate is to make sure that the fetal tissue does not continue to grow in my tubes and cause severe damage.

The next couple of weeks were pure misery, lots of pain, lots of bleeding. I never really passed anything like a miscarriage, maybe a bit of tissue at the very beginning. But it was like I was having my period for 2 weeks. Whole lotta fun, believe me. No one understands what losing a child is like unless they have gone thru it themselves. My husband was sad for me, but he had no idea really what was going on. Some idiots I experienced told me that "at least I wasn't very far along". Losing a child is hard no matter how far along you are. It does not matter!

The other hard part of all this is how the people around me act. Some completely ignore what I went thru while others really were caring. Going thru any tragedy really makes you find out who really are your true friends and who you really shouldn't give a second thought about. I know people feel uncomfortable when seeing someone going thru something tragic, but all someone has to say is "if you need anything, let me know". Its simple, just to let you know that they care.

Well, that was the past history on my first IUI. Since then, we are on my 6th try. Going for the 6th actually in the morning. This is the first month we have been on Follistim. So glad I'm done with the Clomid. I can't take the hot flashes anymore! Follistim isn't so bad, especially since I found out they are covered by my insurance, thank god! But with the Follistim, still only one large follicle for tomorrow. Argh! All those shots and ultrasounds, and blood work, and still only one! Go figure! Well, I'll see how it goes.

But until my child comes along, I have 2, 4 legged babies at home. My beautiful golden girls!